The End... of theism week
I've eventually come to the end of theism week, well not eventually because that sounds like it seemed to take ages but it actually was quite quick. I think, on the whole, and to be very honest (because thats what I do on this blog) in one sense, the week was spectacularly unsucessful. I spent very little of my time actually believing in God, mostly because I just kept on forgetting to. I said very few graces before meals (well I'm just programed to see food - eat!). I suppose I did at least keep the ten commandments but I think I probably do most of the time really (apart from the ones about believeing in God).
On the other hannd the week went very well in otherways. The very fact that I couldn't keep up the belief and be a strict Christian for a week probably said something about my true beliefs. I think my mind really has totally rewired itself away from my childhood beliefs of God and fairies and has become a lot more rational. I now question just about everything I come across automatically - thats just the way it is.
The biggest advantage I see of believing in God is that feeling you get of someone being there for whatever happens, someone loves you unconditionally and you can share absolutely everything with that person, no secrets... sounds lovely? Well, it is. But, I think although it may not be comfy cosy to believe that there is nothing out there for you, you learn from it. Just like a child becomes increasingly more independant from it's parents, I've definatly learnt to become more independent from God, I've learnt to stand on my own two feet sooo much more and I, myself and me are enough in my life to carry me through all the difficult times without a need for some nebulous divine being, which I definatly needed before.
Oh, and I can freely say what alot of truely religious people feel guilty abot saying: I love myself! Yup, I really am in love with myself, I don't care if you think its egositcal, because I know its not (not in the way you're thinking anyway) but, I looooove me, and I totally thank me for being me. It's not an I love me in a 'no one matters but me' way because thats not true, I really do love my friends and my family very much and I think that it's only because I love myself that I can love them, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else (have I said this on the blog before?). Neither does it mean that I think I'm the most important/beautiful/clever/whatever person in the room all the time, infact, in terms of my relationships with other people it means nothing. All it means is that I'm never angry/dissapointed at/with myself, in fact I really can't comprehend myself ever being so because... its me, how can I be angry at myself?
I've considered trying theism week again and I probably will, I would have just started again next week, but I'm busy Sunday morning so I cant get to chruch so I really may aswell leave it to another time. I'm also looking forward to the relief of being able to completely think and feel and believe what I want!!
God knows you aren't able to keep His law perfectly. That's why He sent
Jesus. Jesus kept the law perfectly, and then gave His life for our sins.
That's the basic Christian message.
Aiieee! Why can't you just leave her alone? What you just said was
completely pointless. Mary is not stupid, she knows all of that, she just
doesn't believe it. And actually, in my way of thinking (and, forgive me
here, my religious belief) we ARE capable of perfection; we were born
perfect but it is the choices that we have to make between right and wrong
that cause us to appear imperfect. And we save ourselves, no one does it
for us, because we decide what we do, and therefore are responsible for our
actions. So there. Well done, Mary, I'm so proud of you for thinking for
yourself! TWILY!!
All I can say is that you got to love yourself to be able to love others,
for when you percieve them, they are part of your experience, of which
yourself is the context. It's good to question, that way you get answers
and not beliefs... :-)
I suspect most truly religious Christians wouldn't feel at all guilty at
saying they love themselves, although they might feel challenged by Jesus'
"Love your neighbour as yourself".
I loved reading this and the fact that a week of such reflection managed to
lead you to love yourself as in my own experience, it has only ever caused
the exact opposite to be the case.