Hit not the little children

For once I possess a morally, ethically and spiritually valid reason for not having come by my blog in a while - I have been buried up to my ears in study.  I have just survived a particularly nasty stretch of exam period which stressed me so much my hand was shaking too much to sign the top of my first paper (pathetic but true).  The exams themselves were ok... I suppose... I dunno... just as they generally are.  Right, excuses are now over so I can continue the proper stuff!

The issue of hitting children is something that I started thinking about a few months ago.  However, when I say started thinking about it, I didn't think much as I have always been of the same opinion about it - it's totally wrong.  However happily, the longer I think the more reasons I come up with to support this.

The most important reason I feel is that children should learn what is wrong not through the rather selfish reasoning of I steal a biscuit = I get hurt therefore I don't want to get hurt, I won't steal a biscuit.  Instead it's surely better for the child's reasoning to go like this I steal a biscuit = people are upset therefore I don't like upsetting people, I won't steal a biscuit.

The latter develops a child's sense of guilt and more importantly makes them realize why their actions are wrong - because they upset people.  Therefore a strict reprimand has to be better than hitting the child?  The most common objection to this is "but Mary, you were a moral child!  Not all children feel a sense of guilt!"  I'm sure a lot of people think that way, how can young children be expected to change their ways because of the feeling of others?  There are two answers to this:

1. Children can be exceptionally emotional beings, they can be  very sensitive to others, don't underestimate this.
2. Morals:  There are two schools of thought on this, either we were born with them (as said by a fairly well known guy called Kant) or we learn them as we progress through life (probably also said by some guy).  So we were either born with the same morals within us or we developed them in later life.  Either way, as very young children our moral awareness is pretty much the same as each other.  There are no particularly moral or immoral children.

I believe the most obvious reason for not hitting children to punish them is that sets a bad example, it's a double standard, the parents can hit but the child cannot.  The parents probably teach kindness and non-violence towards others but they smack their children.  Before anyone say that smacking children is not a type of violence, while I concede that it is very minor, it nevertheless hurts the children enough to discourage them from 're offending', this is the point, it HURTS children and yet we teach them to never to hurt others.  Here I'd look to the Christian principle of doing to others that which you would like done to yourself.  If you're teaching that to your children, well you can see were the child's logic will take them.

My last point is that although I understand that most parents who smack their children as punishment aim to hit 'never in anger' but out of love to correct and improve their child, it can be very easy to accidentally hit children in a moment of anger which is dangerous for obvious reasons should you lose your temper.

I was never hit and although I cannot prove this to you who know me not... I promise I turned out OK!

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